YES! My worst memories - my nightmares - come from things I did to other people. Things that can never be made right. Just this morning, I was thinking of a specific day in 2020 - of someone close to me I hurt (by actions I'd been taking long before) - and what the cost would be to go back and erase it. The paradox, I suppose, is that it is now these thoughts that make me want to escape my feelings - the thoughts of the terrible things I did while drinking (which I was doing to escape other pain) are now the thoughts from which I crave escape.

I'm thankful for tools, resources, support to find other options - and to learn to just feel. But when you just feel, sometimes it hurts - Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this.