YES - I remember reading about "alcohol use disorder" and thinking "ok, I can cut back a bit." Or being excited that I'd only had a couple drinks on any given day. Or telling myself that having a few drinks kept me calm and focused (calm until the alcohol was gone, focused on when my next drink would be). The phase where I attempted to reduce intake was the worst - I'd inevitably drink more than I wanted - could NOT stop once I started - and would feel ashamed. Still, it didn't dawn on me to just "not drink at all." Thanks for sharing your experience.