Yes - and still, I finally gave in and went "all in" on drinking. And, at first, no bad consequences. But they came - and hurt. Finding recovery and another way to live has been amazing to me. Even before I was an alcoholic drinker, I always had this sense that something wasn't quite right.
Recovery and connection have shown me a different path - and while I don't want to repeat the events of 2020 that got me into recovery, I'm glad I'm finally here.