Yep - this is just the beginning of lies - I lied to myself for years saying I could manage my drinking - I lied at parties and said I was "on a diet" so I wasn't drinking "that night" - which really meant I wouldn't drink in front of people b/c I was afraid of what might happen. I've found in my recovery journey that being honest goes a long way - that I'm not responsible for how you feel about my sober journey.