Who Should Have Access to Your Phone?

Trust vs. privacy in an era of access

Andy Spears
4 min readOct 21, 2024
Photo by Daria Nepriakhina 🇺🇦 on Unsplash

As I was reading a story about relationships and betrayal, I noted a line about access to a partner’s phone — passwords, email accounts, etc.

In a world where every individual has their own device — a tiny computer that opens all kinds of doors — questions of privacy vs. trust arise, particularly in intimate/committed relationships.

One side of that story is reflected in this bewildering tale of a double life:

And to cope with the fallout of a betrayal, a new relationship comes with new rules (and a self-imposed boundary):

I have Ramzi’s passcodes, passwords, and access to all areas, but I still can’t bring myself to look through his phone. I don’t know if it’s because I’m scared of what I’ll find or what it will do to my psyche.

Access asked for and granted. But also, no use of the available access.

Which causes me to ponder: Is there an expectation around access to your partner’s phone? What if you’re…

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Andy Spears
Andy Spears

Written by Andy Spears

Writer and policy advocate living in Nashville, TN —Public Policy Ph.D. — writes on education policy, consumer affairs, and more . . .

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