This is like the "yes, and" rule of improv. In a relationship with open communication and caring about each other, you turn toward - that doesn't mean, though, that you accept every bid - but you may at least acknowledge (sex would be great, but I'm super exhausted b/c of work - or, can we talk about this later, I want to be present for you... ) - an acknowledgement of the bid and a promise (that should be delivered) to address it can be so, so helpful. If you're not getting that consistently, that's a pretty big red flag.