The Honey That Stings

Yet kept me coming back

Photo by Michael Milverton on Unsplash

I don’t remember when I crossed the line.

The fine line between I’m having a drink or two on a Friday night to I’m having three or more drinks and staying upstairs alone — but still only on Friday — to I’m drinking every night, and basically living upstairs on the weekend.

But reading a piece by

Judy Walker

reminded me of the way it used to feel:

My senses were heightened, honey flowed through my veins and my body was wrapped in gauzy goodness.

I’ve Been Hiding the Truth From Everyone (Especially Myself)

“Why did you keep drinking even after it started causing you some problems,” I’m sometimes asked.

That feeling — the honey in my veins feeling — that’s why.

Judy also notes:

Alcohol was a bridge to the part of me I didn’t have access to when I was sober. I became livelier, happier, and less inhibited.

Same.

I spent a long time trying not to use alcohol to get there. I ran long distances, watched movies in theatres alone, listened to loud…