OMG - I've been sober for a bit now, but if there was a bottle of bourbon in my house, I'd obsess over it - About a week ago, I walked past the upstairs cabinet where I used to hide my bourbon - and - I opened it. Just like old times. But no bourbon. If there'd been a bottle in there, whoa - how early is too early? How much can I have now and still basically function at work? Can I get through dinner without a drink? Do I have some in my closet so I can take a sip if I wake up in the middle of the night? Total. Obsession. On days with big writing projects, I wouldn't let myself have a first drink until the writing was done - because once I had that first one... It is almost impossible to explain to someone who has not experienced it.