Just a few laughs around the Thanksgiving table — Do you ever have a memory or look back on a past event and then think, “Did it really happen that way?” That’s how I felt after writing about being locked outside my house as a child. I remember spending summer days with my sister wandering around our small town. …

Finding a replacement for alcohol and becoming more productive — I’ve written some about my struggles with alcohol use. Washing Away the Magic Life is full of magical moments and alcohol can wash them awaymedium.com I’ve found that writing about this truth from my past helps me process — and reminds me why alcohol is no longer a part of my life. One lesson many in early recovery learn is that after you stop using your…

How I’ve learned to cope with a painful past. — I open my phone, and there it is. “On this day four years ago.” A seemingly innocuous picture. In fact, a lovely picture. And it hits me. Hard. I remember in great detail what was happening at that time — not just around that time, but on that day. The…

Lessons learned in keeping secrets — Here’s how my mom did groceries. Once a month, usually on a Saturday evening, she’d take my sister and me to the grocery store about 10 miles from our house. The small, local store was about two minutes away, but Mom said the prices were too high there and so…

Coping with memories in recovery — As I go further into my recovery journey, my mind keeps getting clearer. This is a blessing and a curse. It’s great to remember what I did and where I went and to know where I want to be. It’s wonderful to be able to focus — to get things…

Life is full of magical moments and alcohol can wash them away — The building was a relic of this now-bustling city’s simpler past. Built in 1896. Brick. Sturdy. Strong. Surrounded by structures of steel and glass that dwarfed this home to entrepreneurs and nonprofits and one hell of a great taco shop. His space covered almost the entire third floor. He called…

Alcohol can take us to some strange places — There it was. That feeling. THAT FEELING. This was wrong. He knew it was wrong. He looked down at his phone. Then looked away. That feeling. Tension. Anxiety. Body sweating and hands shaking. He grabbed the bottle he needed. The one with the screw top. He walked to the checkout…

It’s something I think about when I’m tempted to drink — I recently read a story about maintaining sobriety and it reminded me of my own sober journey — 2+ years now! Here’s a statement from that story that I think others can apply — especially in early sobriety: (being around folks who are drinking reminds me why I don’t!). It’s…

No — but you can set your life back a decade or more — I’m a big fan of Jason Isbell. He’s a compelling storyteller — and he’s not shy about being in recovery from alcohol addiction. I’ve written a lot recently about my own recovery journey. The Birthday Gift I Wish I’d Given Back Or what 47-year-old me would say to 40-year-old meadvocateandy.medium.com Isbell’s latest single, Death Wish, tells a story I know all too well.

But I don’t miss the reason I saw her — It’s 7:30 AM. The grocery store about a mile from where I live is 24 hours and I need some things. Of course, most grocery stores would be open by 7:30 AM. I grab a bagged salad, a 4-pack of my favorite bottled soda, and a bottle of wine. Of…

Signs you might have a drinking problem — I showed up with a smile. Knocked on the door. A paper bag with one bottle of gin and one bottle of bourbon. I just knew my friend would be excited to welcome me in. And, well, I was right. My friend had some cola, so bourbon it was. I…

Addiction can make you ask some strange questions — I still remember my very first recovery meeting. Now almost three years ago. I was wearing slip-on shoes, no socks, and a pair of faded khakis that were two sizes too small in the waist — but that I could manage to button just below my stomach. I wore a…

On the pain of not knowing what happened — It’s 9:30 AM. You pour your second cocktail of the day. Your life is good, it’s really good. You have a light work day and you’re working from home. You have a couple of calls with potential new clients — so, it looks like life is going to get better…

If you thought it couldn’t get hotter . . . — My friend and fellow sober writer Dana Leigh Lyons was lucky enough to score an interview with Tawny Lara on the issue of sex in sobriety. One: Read it! Two: Yes, I have some thoughts. Here they are: I never tasted alcohol until I was 25. I was so afraid…

Which is much easier to say now that you are gone — I lost my Dad back in May of 2022. This post is a reflection on thoughts I’ve had recently. At the time, it was all business. Dealing with the funeral home. Dealing with his wife. Dealing with the family visiting a town that hasn’t been my home in 20+ years. …

Is it the marshmallows or the memories? — The red brick church sat facing the winding road, a steeple and white cross on top. If you are standing on the road, looking at the church entrance, you see a small pond to the left and as your eyes go up the steep hill, you see an old stone…

Or what 47-year-old me would say to 40-year-old me — I am now 47 — just a few months from 48. I’ve found that as birthdays advance, you seem to place less importance on them. Or, maybe, as you approach 50, you hope they come less frequently. Still, here we are. A man in his late 40s who remains youthful…

On the importance of positive self-talk — I recall very clearly the time — at age 43 — when I reached out for help. I had been shopping at a Wal-Mart. I had a list; it was a routine trip — just the basics. My cart was half full with the contents of my list — every…

On being called out for giving 45 percent — We’d been on a hike the day before. Just out there. Crossing a creek, playing in it. Then, I stood on the bank. Then, I asked if we were done here. We played a bit more, then walked on. Returned to a home, to an office, to a car —…

Self-care is NOT a myth — Today is my day off. It is my first REAL day off in a long, long time. Today, I realized I’m insane. I wrote recently about how events that transpired in my life prior to 2020 came to a head in 2020 and forced me to reckon with reality. How M&Ms Helped Create Order Out of Chaos And how I learned to let go and live a happier lifeadvocateandy.medium.com So…