In Perhaps the Biggest Act of Self-Sabotage, I Said Nothing

7 years of a progressively encroaching hell

Andy Spears
2 min readSep 30, 2024

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Photo by Thanos Pal on Unsplash

And I came home. And I said nothing.

And the darkness grew.

And the darkness took over.

And nights were sleepless.

And days burned hot with internal rage.

And I almost.

Sometimes.

Got close.

To saying it.

But instead . . . nothing.

And one day I called.

For help.

After years of hoping, praying, begging for someone to call me. Never once thinking I could just call, could just reach out.

And so I called.

This was the first time I’d seriously asked for any kind of help in dealing with . . . the darkness.

And still. I said nothing. Not to those closest to me.

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Andy Spears

Writer and policy advocate living in Nashville, TN —Public Policy Ph.D. — writes on education policy, consumer affairs, and more . . .