Dear Dad: I Love You

Which is much easier to say now that you are gone

Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash

I lost my Dad back in May of 2022.

This post is a reflection on thoughts I’ve had recently.

At the time, it was all business. Dealing with the funeral home. Dealing with his wife. Dealing with the family visiting a town that hasn’t been my home in 20+ years.

In the last month — nearly a year later, I keep having thoughts.

This is my written expression of what’s on my mind regarding the loss of my father. Warning: There may be more later.

Dear Dad,

I love you.

I said these words out loud on a dark street in a town in middle Tennessee just a few weeks ago.

I was at the end of a 4-mile walk.

And I thought of you, Dad.

And there was this wetness in my eyes.

Something I hadn’t allowed while you were alive.

I love you, Dad.

Why did you have to die for me to say it and be free?

I guess that’s on me.

Here’s what I remember:

My car broke down coming home from college.