Completely understandable - I was unpleasant when drinking and, at the height of my alcohol use, even more unpleasant when I didn't have it. I do, though, recall that first Holiday season after getting sober - it was beautiful - I wanted to kick myself for missing out on previous years - yes, I was sometimes there, but not present and certainly not "joy-filled" - It's good to have boundaries, but I'm also sorry you're going through this with him.